Spontaneously Planned

Hello Me

2010-12-11T12:27:00.003-06:00

So I am completely aware that no one really blogs anymore. Well, not here and not like they use to. The only reason I am writing is for me. I just (after several years) felt like blogging what life is like now. I find it really interesting reading my posts from 6 years ago and getting a look at how I thought and what my life was like. It really makes me appreciate my life now...fo real!! Anyway, I can look back in a few years and read this as well. Guess this has turned into my online diary. So, I am still married to NHP and we have 3 boys. Poohbear (from my other marriage) age 9, Aidiebaby age 4 and NoNoBug age 14 months. We live in a house in Bluff Park where we have been for the past 2 years and I am still at home with my boys. I am now, however, making "artwork" which is being sold at Naked Art Gallery. It's a bit surreal how well my stuff is doing and I was even in Black & White this month. CRAAAAZZZZYYY!! Um...what else? My Grandmother, in which I blogged about ALOT, passed away September 28, 2008, exactly one year to the day before NoNoBug was born. Kinda weird. I miss her more everyday, but she always talked about going to heaven...so in a way I guess she is where she always wanted to be...but I still have to be selfish and wish she were here. Hmmm, well, that's what life is like right now. I'm sure if anyone else read this they would think "How dull" but it is what it is...and it is my life....and I wouldn't change a thing. (except maybe add a couple hundred thousand to my bank account ; P)

It's Lonely Here

2007-10-21T08:30:00.000-05:00

So, I blogged last week and then stopped to wonder if I would ever do that again. I looked around "blogger world" and couldn't find my friends anymore. Maybe it's just been too long. My brother has moved on to the world of Vox, I can't find Liesl, and Frenchie, um...SoldierJunkie stopped posting about the same time that I did. Well, to my surprise, I pulled up my blog this morning and there they were. Rush, Liesl and Frenchie. They came all the way over here to post on my itty bitty blog. I guess maybe I'll try this again. I can't promise to have anything interesting to say, but hey, it is my life. If I have to live it then you have to read about it.

I'm Baaaaack!!!

2007-10-13T07:59:00.000-05:00

Well I'm sure that you guys have written me off as dead, but here I am. Had to take a small break to do the mommy/wife thing. When I had my last rugrat I quit my job, so no internet. BOO!! But thanks to my wonderful, awesome, smartest brother in the whole world, I am now back in the 21st century. So, wow alot has happened in the year or so I've been gone. Had a kid, got married....ok so only two things, but they are big things. Man, I've missed this blogging crap. Well, that was fun while it lasted. Now I have to go pull out whatever my youngest just put in his mouth. Later!!!

It's the FInal Countdown

2006-07-14T09:02:00.000-05:00

Did anyone else hear the 80's band Europe in their head when they read the title? Just me, huh? I'm ok with that. So I spent the earlier part of the week at the hospital wishing like hell this kid would just come out already. Monday I started having really bad dizzy spells, so I go to my doctor only to be told I am dehydrated and I have a UTI. So she writes me a prescription and tells me to drink plenty of water and stay in bed. Done. Tuesday I get up and feel somewhat normal, but as I'm standing in front of the mirror getting ready to go to work, my ears started sounding like a test from the National Broadcast System...this is only a test. I walked towards my bed and suddenly got that "Oh crap, I'm about to black out" feeling. I compare it too being so drunk, that when you lay down on the bed and close your eyes, the bed feels like it's spinning. Only I had my eyes open and was walking through my bedroom. You can imagine. Day 2 at the hospital. This time they hooked me up to a fetal monitor for 30 minutes to make sure the baby was ok. I'm not one to sit in a room for half an hour with nothing to do but stare at the walls. Not only was I bored beyond belief, the chair they sat me in was this old busted ass recliner that wouldn't stay reclined unless you put constant pressure on the arm of the chair. So here I am pushing with all my strength to keep this monster chair from slinging me out in the floor, when the nurse says, "Can you hold this monitor on your stomach? If you let go it loses the heartbeat." Sure, why the hell not. It's not like I have anything else to do for the next 30 minutes of my life. So for what seemed like the next 3-4 hours, I had my left arm pushing on the arm of the chair and my right arm pressing this monitor into my stomach. After the torture room, I was sent to the ultrasound room to make sure the baby had enough fluid and to see if he has turned. As I'm sitting on the table waiting for the nurse to come back with towels, I notice NHP looking at something next to me. I look over to find the ultrasound wand with about half a pound of old gel on the end. Is that from all the other patients today? Surely she'll wipe that bad boy off before she smears it all over my belly. NHP is quite the germ freak and this was obviously tearing him up to see this nastiness. So, the nurse walks in with a huge bundle of towels under her arm. Does she stop to put them away? Does she lay them on the counter until she has more time to put them in their proper place? Nope. She just drops them right there on the nasty, stained floor. Then, she proceeds to pull one out and drape it across my lap. More looks from NHP. Then, it happened. She grabs the wand of crap and slaps it on my stomach before I had a chance to protest. Here I am trying to enjoy seeing my little boy and all I can think about is the fact that this lady is rubbing everyone elses funk all over me. I wanted to scream. Anyway, having said all that, let me get to the point. My doctor is inducing me on August 1st at 6:30 in the morning. I'm usually not even up at 6:30, much less pushing a 7 pound human from my body. Why can't they schedule that to my needs? I'm the one going through all the pain and discomfort. Oh well, at least I can be content in the fact that this is the last time I will go through this. Not to mention the fact that when it's over, I'll have a beautiful baby boy to love.

Free Stuff Rocks

2006-05-23T17:44:00.000-05:00

Friday I had one of my two babyshowers. It was at NHP's work place, and very nicely decorated by the one and only Irish. (thanks Irish) As much as I hate going to showers, even my own, I had a pretty good time. I was the only one not drinking Vodka punch, but it was still ok. I got alot of stuff I needed and wanted, like the most kick ass baby bedding ever made! Plus the much needed diapers, wipes, etc. The next shower will be at Mrs. Hutton's house on June 10th. Yeah! More free stuff! Besides the shower, this weekend was very busy. Saturday I had to go to a birthday party for a 7 year old and a 10 year old girl. (NHP's nieces) It was at Skate Playstation in Trussville. I thought it would be fine since it was indoors..yeah right. The girls decided to go outside and play an hour long game of putt-putt and then stand in line for 30 minutes to ride go-karts. By the time I got inside and sat down, my fingers and toes looked like plump little sausages just about ready to blow. For those of you that have been pregnant, you know if you stand for too long in the heat, your feet and hands swell. Well, they did. Anyway, we got inside before I turned into the Michelin Man and the party quickly ended. Sunday was not as bad, although we did sit outside in the heat all day at NHP's brother's house, so now I have so many mosquito bites, I look like I have chicken pox. Oh well. Guess it could be worse...some how.

Crawfish Suck

2006-05-08T13:31:00.000-05:00

So, went to the Crawfish Boil this weekend with NHP, Zaron, and his wife. It was ok, I guess. The best part of the whole day was making fun of people with Zaron. Poor NHP just sat quietly with a straight face during the heckling. He has this thing with making fun of people. He thinks it'll come back to bite him in the butt later. Anyway, I still enjoy pointing out the flaws of others. So there was this rather large guy with a rather large hunchback. It appeared as if his head was coming out of the middle of his chest. Zaron made a comment about his head looking like a Christmas ornament hanging of the Charlie Brown tree, and I lost it. I cried for 10 minutes. Evertime I thought I was good, I would start laughing all over again. Not until the hunch was out of sight could I regroup and wipe away the tears. Other than "hunch" we saw a lady that could open jars with her shoulder blades, Jesus in Oakleys, punk girl nipple, and all the baby punkers you could imagine. NHP couldn't figure out why punk kids would be at a show featuring Jason Mraz and Better Than Ezra. I explained they were probably there to see P.O.D., and that there are no more "real punks" anymore. Only the few old school punks that are now in their 30s-40s. Anyone younger than us is considered "radio punk". By this I mean the ones that worship Greenday. We left before P.O.D or Live started playing, but someone told me today that lightning struck something there and they had to cancel the last 2 bands. Sucks for them I guess. I was already sound asleep by then, so I could really care less. All in all a good weekend. We did make a promise to ourselves, though. Once we hit a certain age and/or weight, we will no longer go to these sort of events. It's fun making fun of people, I just don't want to be on the other end of that tear filled laughter.

The Name Game

2006-03-31T08:29:00.000-06:00

NHP and I have been going crazy trying to give this child a middle name. Well, he has been driving me crazy trying to give this child a middle name. I have given him hundreds of names, but none quite good enough for "his child". So, a few days ago I went online and pulled up ever boy name from A-Z, printed it out, and brought it home. With great pride in my research, I told him I had a list he could look at. What does he say? "How about Aidan Nathaniel?" Oh...you mean Nathaniel as in one of the first names I mentioned and you turned your nose up at? That Nathaniel? Yeah, I'm cool with that. So there it is. Aidan Nathaniel Puckett. FINALLY!!!

3 Against One

2006-03-23T13:34:00.000-06:00

Baby #2 is a boy! We are still going back and forth over names, but I'll post our decision when we make one. I'm pushing for Aidan, and since I'll also be the one pushing the child from my body, I think I should have the final say. Maybe it's just me. We are trying to come up with a middle name now. I like Aidan Christopher, but NHP won't agree with anything I've suggested. Men. Speaking of the lesser of the genders, now I am going to be the only girl in a house full of boys! I have no one to side with me. How depressing. It's ok though. Baby boys are the sweetest creatures in the world. Besides, I can always go love on Olivia when I need a baby girl fix.

Happy Birthday Tyler!

2006-02-24T12:38:00.000-06:00

Today is my nephew's 3rd birthday. Man, 3 years. It seems like just yesterday I was holding him for the first time. Where does the time go? Anyway, he is the sweetest, most gentle child I have ever known and I am proud to have him as my nephew. Aunt Tori loves you very, very much. Hope you have a great birthday and get everything you want.

Happiness is....

2006-02-17T14:12:00.000-06:00

I don't go out anymore. I don't see my friends very often. I go to work, go home and go to bed. I live what some would call a "boring life". My only true joy in life is my son, and unfortunately, I only get to see him on a part time basis. Today, however, I got great joy. It came in the form of new clothes. I finally broke down and ordered maternity clothes. Brand new, nobody has ever stretched them over their huge belly, still in the plastic, new clothes. I even paid extra to get them in 2 days. That's how excited I was to get new clothes. I don't know why this made me so happy. I know after the baby is born, I'll never wear them again. I also know that after the first wash, they are no longer new. Even still, I am so excited that I could burst. I know it sounds stupid, but it's all I got. So piss off.

Frenchie Needs A Job

2006-02-17T08:49:00.000-06:00

Our good friend Frenchie is in need of a job. He told me about getting the boot from his previous job probably a week ago, but I just got time to post today. If anyone knows where a talented TV repairman could get a job, please let me know. He also can do other "fix it" type stuff, that's just what he has the most experience with I guess. Any job would be nice though. Let me know.

13 Weeks and Counting

2006-02-10T13:44:00.000-06:00

Still preggers, still feel just like crap. Getting bigger, running out of pants that fit. Luckily, my sister-in-law brought me a few things I could wear. I grow tired of standing in my closet every morning for 30 minutes crying because I'm too fat to fit any of my pants. I know NHP is sick of it. He has decided that because of my ill behavior, I hate him and will have his baby hating him when it is born. He doesn't seem to understand mood swings, morning sickness(that lasts all day), hormones and being tired from the minute I wake up until I go to bed that night. I guess he thought pregnancy would be a ball of sunshine and fluffy bunnies. WRONG!!! I try to explain these things to him, but he lives in a "the world hates me" state of mind anyway. Explaining only makes him think I'm talking to him like he's stupid. I can never win.

House Hunt

2006-01-27T15:26:00.000-06:00

I have never lived in one house/apartment longer than 2 years. Never. The place I live now is no exception. I will be there 2 years in March and since the family is expanding as fast as my waistline, we have to find a bigger place. So far I have had crappy luck finding something big enough for us in the price we can afford. Today, however, I found 2 townhouses within a block of each other for rent. They're in Pelham, so I may have to drag NHP kicking and screaming. He doesn't want to move out any further south than we are. Sometimes you have to suck it up and deal. I on the other hand want to move there. I hear the schools are great in Shelby County and the area is nice. Since I am the meanest, most hormonal person in my house, I win. The only problem I have is the not staying there factor. He wants to buy a house, but at this point we have too many things happening to deal with that. So, instead we decided to rent for another year and then buy a house. Poohbear starts school this year and I don't want him to get use to a school and then move him next year. School is hard enough without being drug from one to another. I know, I went to about 9 schools in 12 years. It sucks! I guess we'll travel that road when we get to it. No sense in stressing about it now. I'll keep posting about our findings. Wish me luck.

Have You Ever?

2006-01-20T13:50:00.000-06:00

Have you ever been driving along with no purpose or really any place to go? Just driving with your mind wandering from one thing to another? Maybe listening to a relaxing song or thinking of things you need to do or places you need to go, but really just want to drive? While your driving do you realize that you are "that person"? The one driving with your blinker on for the last 5 blocks. The one that has been cruising at a cool 5 miles an hour and taking turns going 1 mile an hour? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then kiss my ass. You could have been the one I was just stuck behind! Damn it people, wake up and pay attention to the other people in those shiny boxes called cars.

Adorable Continued

2006-01-10T12:41:00.000-06:00

Him-Who fixed us? God or Jesus?
Me-You mean who made us?
Him-Yeah.
Me-God.
Him-How did he make us?
Me-He made us in heaven and sent us to Earth.
Him-How do we get there?
Me-We are made there.
Him-No, how do we get there?
Me-Do you mean when we die?
Him-Yeah. How do we get to heaven?
Me-God comes to get us and take us there.
Him-I didn't even know he could fly! Does he just take us away?
Me-Well, he takes our spirit and our body stays here.
Him-Does it just come right out the top of our heads?
Me-No, it probably comes out of our mouths.(Laughing)
Him-You mean like babies do?!
Me-Didn't we already have the "babies don't come out of your mouth" talk.
Him-Yeah, but since you can't tell me where they come from then I'm going to say they come out of your mouth.

Now That's Adorable

2006-01-05T12:50:00.000-06:00

Quotes from my 4 year old son reguarding the new baby:
1.-After seeing mommy with her head in the toilet-"Mommy! You're going to throw up the baby!"
2. "Mommy would you eat one of these skittles? I want the baby to taste how good it is."
3. Do you want a brother or a sister? "I want a brother, but if it's a sister I guess I'll be ok with that."
4. "I wish you could jump on the bed with me, but the baby might get dizzy."
My favorite was the "where does it come out" conversation:
"Mommy, will the baby come out of your mouth when it's born?"
"No."
"Well, where does it come from?"
(Silence)
"Well, don't you know"
"Yeah, I'm just trying to decide if your old enough for that talk."
"Um, mommy, you know I'm 4."

7 Weeks and Counting

2005-12-28T13:35:00.000-06:00

My Grandmother is like most. She worries about the welfare of her kids, grandkinds, and great grandkids like all grandmothers do. She only wants what's best for us and sometimes she makes comments thinking she is telling us what we need to hear, but maybe what we don't want to hear. That's the problem I have now. Since I had my son, she has told me that I don't need anymore kids. She tells everyone that I'm too nervous to have kids. This, I don't get. I have prided myself on being a good mother. We all have our flaws and our breaking points when it comes to raising our kids and I'm sure some things could have been handled differently in my life. But, I have and always will love my son more than anything in this world. I would give my life for him and everyone seems to know this except for her. She says that she means no harm by these words ,only that I was very focused on my son and I guess worry too much about him, but what good mother doesn't worry or focus all their attention on their babies? He is the best thing that ever happened to me and I am proud to be called his mother. Having said all that, let me say this. I had some very good news to share with my family and because of her opinion, I left her out of the loop. I wish things could have been different, but unfortunately they are how they are. So, knowing my aunt (that lives with Grandmother) reads my blog whenever I write, I'm writing this for her. If you choose to tell Grandmother, that's fine, but I want no lectures and if there is bad thoughts or comments towards this news, then I will not discuss any of this. Only the one's that can be sincere in their joy needs to contact me reguarding this subject.

NHP and I are expecting our first child together in August. We are both incredibly excited and everyone we have told up until now has shared in our joy. I hope she can find it in her heart to be happy for us.

Party People

2005-12-16T15:56:00.000-06:00

The time has come once again for the friend's Christmas party. This year it's at Mr and Mrs Hutton's house. They are the "rich" friends in the group, so I'm sure their house will be decorated to the nines. Whatever that means. Anyhoo, every year the party goes as follows:
1.Someone at some point will fall asleep on the couch.
2.More people than necessary will cram themselves in the smallest room in the house(i.e. kitchen, hallway)
3.Someone will end up with their head resting on the potty.
4.Someone will bitch about someone that's not there.
5.Someone will sit on the couch all night playing video games/watching movies.(Probably the same person mentioned in 1)
6.Someone will get their picture taken doing something we can all harrass them about later.
Ah...the wonderful holidays. Nothing is more predictable.

And the Award Goes To...

2005-12-16T13:13:00.000-06:00

Yesterday my wonderful coworker decided to play a practical joke on me. In her head it was the funniest gag ever, but to me it was 30 years off my life. Allow me to explain. I have a pen that is my favorite pen in the whole world. Granted I just got it a few days ago, but I love this pen. It writes like butter! Anyway, I came into work yesterday morning and the pen is gone. I told the coworker about it and she said one of our patients probably took it the night before. So, later that afternoon, she decided to go out and get the mail out of the box, which is a daily thing. When she came in, she handed me the mail because I was waiting on something to be delivered. Mixed in with the ususal bills and magazines was a wrinkled envelope, unsealed, and addressed to me with no return address. I pulled out a piece of paper that looked like a ransom letter. (Several different style letters put together to form a word.) I don't remember exactly what it said, due to trauma, but it went something like this:

Mommy,
How could you leave me with those bad people? You knew they would hurt me.

Blah, Blah, Blah....you get the point. I freaked the fuck out. I saw my life flash before my eyes, I got dizzy, I felt like I was going to puke! All I could picture was someone had taken my baby and they were doing God knows what to him as I read this sick letter. A million horrible things flashed in my head in 2 seconds. Immediately, I ran to the phone and started to dial my ex-husband's number. He is with him this weekend and at this point I hadn't seen or heard from him in 2 days. That's when Miss Funnyass grabbed me and told me it was a joke. She thought I would understand that it was a ransom letter from my pen, which she had taken earlier in the day. Being a mommy and having a ransom letter addressed to..."MOMMY" I didn't see the humor. She has now been deemed "World's Worst Practical Joker".

Call Me Charity

2005-12-09T15:26:00.000-06:00

Around this time of year, people tend to give money and gifts to the needy. Well, my friends, meet the needy. If any of you would like to give a small donation to the "Help me get out of the fucking hole and be able to buy my son something for Christmas" fund, just drop me an email or comment with the dollar amount you would like to give me. I'll take whatever you give me. I'll be waiting people. Don't be greedy.

Open House

2005-12-05T13:07:00.000-06:00

Friday was NHP's office party/open house. I only knew a handful of people among the 50 or so that was there. Irish,the Republican, Batonga, and Mr and Mrs Fingar. Yes people I said Fingar, grow up. Anyway, they had a very nice Jazz band playing, and some interesting "snacks". I know better than to expect a full meal at these things, but since I was staving, I had hoped. I did meet the boss man, which I hear about but never met before. Also got to meet Ilene. Sweet Ilene. I have spoken to her on the phone a dozen times, and yet again never met. I love putting faces with names and voices. It never works out like you thought. I always pictured the boss as this middle aged hippie that wears jeans, burkenstocks and funky shirts. He ended up being a well dressed, middle aged business man. Ilene I pictured as a tall, 30-35 year old blond. Nope...way off. Short, possibly late 30's with dark hair. Very funny, though. Not at all what I expected. NHP, Irish, and the Republican seemed to have a great time. They all took advantage of the free adult beverages. I on the other hand am taking antibiotics for the Bronchitis I can't seem to shake, so I sipped on sparkling water all night. Yippie. All in all a good night. We stayed long enough to talk to the ones we wanted to and ducked out before they made us clean up afterwards.

Happy Gobble Day

2005-11-23T16:34:00.000-06:00

Every year for the past 6-7 years all of the "inner circle" has gotten together to celebrate Thanksgiving. After we have stuffed ourselves beyond belief at the parent's, in-laws, etc...we would all get together at someone's house and have a potluck Thanksgiving. Noodle Spiller always cooked the turkey, Bob always cooked the dressing and the rest of us brought whatever we could whip up last minute. This year is no different. Once again I'll go to my Granny's and stuff my face for 2 days on Turkey, dressing, macaroni salad, that weird green foamy stuff, and whatever else I can fit on my plate. Then, I'll come home and do it all over again at the friend's party. Man, I love Thanksgiving! I don't know how much longer the group will be having the annual get-togethers, but I'll enjoy them until they're gone.
Love to everyone. Be careful if you travel and don't eat so much turkey that you go into a coma.

No More NHO!!!

2005-11-23T13:14:00.000-06:00

I just read that an environmentally conscious Japanese firm has just come out with a heated bra. Apparently, this thing was invented to cut down the costs associated with heating your home, car, etc...That's right ladies, no more embarrassing nips peeking from under your winter wear. Sorry fellas. So, here's my question to all you girls, have you ever just thought to yourself, or maybe said out loud which you regret later, "Man, my tits are freezing!" I think as long as the girls are covered, I've never had to complain of frost bite to the nips. Do you think this is a problem with some folks? Do you think anyone has ever been a victim of overly cold boobs? I can understand heated socks, hats, scarfs, ect..but a bra? I mean honestly, who comes up with this stuff?

House Hunting

2005-11-10T10:46:00.000-06:00

As many of you know NHP moved in with me last month. Since my apartment was already full before he moved in, now it's just a cluster of furniture piled to the ceiling. So, we have decided it's time to move on. My lease is up in March(I think) and we have been looking for a house to rent. Because I want Poohbear in the best school possible, we have been leaning towards the Pelham area. Well, now I've been finding houses to buy. I found a dozen or so that meet our needs, the only problem is time and money. Unless I find someone willing to pay closing costs and down payments, we are screwed. If any of you guys care to shell out about $20,000 that would be cool. Just drop me a line and I'll let you know where to send the money. Until then, the search continues.

Well How 'Bout That?

2005-11-07T08:42:00.000-06:00

Hopped on the scales at my mom's this weekend, just to see how much I weigh, and let me tell you how excited I was. It's been a while since I've weighed and going by the way my pants fit(or don't fit) I figured myself to be 10 pounds heavier than I am. That means I only have 10 pounds to lose instead of 20! WOO-HOO!!! I do feel alot better since I've been eating healthier. Maybe something good will come out of this instead of just weight loss. I have lived my life thinking I had great genes and could eat double cheeseburgers all day, everday without gaining weight. That was true until my son was born. Now everything I eat goes straight to the hips. Oh well, the price you pay. I'll keep ya posted on my weigh loss extravaganza.

Rabbit Food

2005-11-03T13:25:00.000-06:00

Have you ever noticed that when you get into a comfortable situation you just let certain things go? Well, I let my weight go and now I can't fit into any of my old clothes. Yesterday I made a decision to do something about it. I went to lunch and pigged out on Chick-Fil-A one last time before the next few months of salad, fruit and water. Then, last night I ate just enough tuna salad and water to get me through the night. This afternoon for lunch I get a salad and yogurt. Man, this is going to be the longest 2 months ever. My goal is to lose 20 pounds by January 1st. Wish me luck.

Where No Man Has Been Before...

2005-10-28T15:14:00.000-05:00

Apparently not the case for George Takei. You may know him as Helmann Sulu from Star Trek. He came out to a Los Angeles based magazine this week after years of hiding his true lifestyle. He said his new onstage role as a psycologist in "Equus" helped inspire him to come out publicly. I say way to go Sulu. Not that I'm really all that shocked by the news, but way to go.

Yeah Halloween!

2005-10-21T13:18:00.000-05:00

I love Halloween so much. It has to be my favorite holiday. Every year I start planning my costume months before the actual day. This year I got a late start, but actually made my own costume. I have no idea why I love this holiday so much. For some it's a devil's holiday, but for me it's what I look forward too all year. I have even pushed my love of the holiday off on my 4 year old son. The other day he was playing with these two little boys in our complex, when I heard him explaining the ghosts and witches hanging from our balcony. He then ran upstairs to the balcony and proceeded to point at every pumpkin and tell how each one glows. The older of the two boys(I think he was 12) just smiled and asked me what I was going to be for Halloween. I told him in this way too excited, almost childlike way that I was going to be the Corpse Bride. I then asked him what he was going to be and he just shrugged and said, "We don't celebrate Halloween." I felt so stupid at that point. I don't know if it was because I had acted so stupid about it or because my porch looks like the Great Pumpkin through up all over it. Either way, I just smiled and walked in the house. Am I wrong for making such a big deal of this day? I can remember when I was a kid,dressing up and going trick-or-treating. I loved it then too and I can't imagine keeping that from Poohbear. He's still too young to really care, but he still has fun. He helped carve the pumpkins and he has decided what costume he wants to wear. Oh well. I guess I'll just keep loving my day and keep listening to people make fun of a 28 year old woman that still gets giddy over Halloween.

Pie

2005-10-21T11:15:00.000-05:00

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Bubble Guts and Coffee Breath

2005-10-19T13:37:00.000-05:00

Man I love those frappucinos!

Punkin Patch

2005-10-18T13:56:00.000-05:00

I went on my first field trip as a mom yesterday. My son's daycare took them to the Pumpkin Patch in Clanton. I went to be with my son on his first field trip but ended up being mommy to 24 kids. I did however think ahead and took my own car, so as soon as they were ready to leave I hopped in my car and sped off. I had fun riding on the hay ride and helping all the kids pick pumpkins and watching Pooh Bear run and play with his classmates. I was just enjoying the day, when this bastard of a yellow jacket swoops down and stings me right in the jugular. Ya know, the big fat vein that runs down the side of your neck. Yep, right in that vein. Now my neck is all swelled up and itchy. I can't go anywhere without being attacked by some flying pest. Oh well. I did get 2 really nice pumpkins out of the deal. We gutted them and carved them up for our viewing pleasure. I got the idea that I would make a pumpkin pie with the guts, but I called my mom and she put the idea in my head that I could poison my family if it wasn't cooked right. Yeah, I really don't want to take the chance of killing us with pie. DEATH BY PIE! I can see the headlines now. Too weird for me. I'll stick to the pumpkin in a can next time I get a hankering to make pie.

Grin and Bear It

2005-10-14T15:40:00.000-05:00

Sometimes you just have to ask yourself if a situation is worth dealing with. You can be in one situation that seems so bad, so you get out of it only to find your self in another situation just as bad, if not worse. But, by then you think,"I never try to work things out. I always run from my problems. I should try to fix this." I had a good friend tell me once we never know how much to take. Either we don't seem to try or we put up with too much. This is so true. I have been with some people that could say one wrong thing or forget to call only once and I dumped them cold. But then I have someone that flies off the handle over every little thing that happens and I think I can fix it. I can't say I fight more now than any other time, but now I'm tired. Which is worse, to confront an argument and scream and fight and call each other names or just walk away until things cool down? My method is to find somewhere else to be other than in the line of fire. To turn my back and walk away. This to some is a slap in the face or a sign of an uncaring bitch. I thought getting in someone's face and screaming and pointing fingers of guilt would be much worse. Apparently not. I think maybe it comes from some childhood trauma. When someone believes you have to fight to show that you care, there is obviously a problem. What happens and at what point does it make a permanent mark on someone? How much trauma does a person have to go through before they snap and the rest of there life is miserable? I wonder if things had been different, if the dad had been around more, had drank less, if the mom had stuck around, if there was a girlfriend in the picture, would things be different. Or is a person what they are no matter how they were raised. I had just as much of a shitty childhood as the next person, but I try to overcome certain things and not let it run my life now. I have made some pretty shitty decisions that I might not have made if things in my life had been different, but I think I am a pretty decent person. I wouldn't say I am as fucked up as I could've been. I guess some people just handle things differently than others. Take Alyce for instance. Here is someone that had a crappy life and instead of trying to better herself, she went with the other way. Instead of trying to have a better family life with her own kids, she's trying to kill what family she could have. What a fucked up world we live in.

Low Down Piece of Shit

2005-10-13T12:41:00.000-05:00

I have never in my life witnessed such a horrible act of selfishness and pure cruelty. I recently read a post by Liesl reguarding her friend Alyce. I've known Alyce since high school and until recently thought she was just a victim of bad decisions and poor upbringing. Today, however, my opinion of this girl has changed. She is no longer anything more to me than a useless pile of dog shit. How can anyone be so cold and heartless? How can you try to murder your own baby? I can understand being scared and maybe not wanting this child, but she fucked up and got pregnant. It's not the baby's fault. With all of the options why do you try to kill it by boozing it up or pumping the poor baby full of God knows what kind of drugs? If she's so determined to kill this poor baby, she should do everyone a favor and just slit her fucking wrists. She is a waste of a human life and I believe there is a special hell for people like her. I can't think of one person in my life that I hate or even wish bad things upon, but I can honestly say I hope this bitch suffers greatly for her mistakes! To anyone that knows this piece of shit, don't call yourself her friend and don't try to help her. She is beyond all that. Just let her destroy what little bit of life she has left.

Bored

2005-08-26T12:35:00.000-05:00

In honor of being bored, I figured I would post again. Our boss has been gone for 2 days, which leaves us 8 hours to just sit here. We have had 2 people come in since 8:30 this morning. I think there should be a rule, if nobody comes in for 3 consecutive hours, we should be able to go home. Oh well. In other news, I went to Virginia about 2 weeks ago to see NHP's mom. I loved it up there. Everything is so beautiful. His stepdad has a ghetto-fied golf cart he calls "Tweety". We drove it up to their cow fields which had a great view of the country. It amazes me to see how other people live and what they do for fun. Here, we have to go to bars and clubs to make ourselves believe we're having fun. Up there, they have no bars or clubs, so they catch lighting bugs, feed the goats, and sit on the porch listening to crickets chirp. Anyhoo, other than that life has been the same. NHP is busy painting for Artwalk (September 9-10),so that has kept us from going out lately, but hopefully after it's over we can hang out with everyone again. I hope you can all come support him. I will find out the exact location of his exhibit and let you guys know. He will be at the same location as last year, if anyone saw him there then. Some sad news for my baby, his cat ran away Wednesday night and I have to figure out some way of telling him on Sunday when he gets back from his dad's house. It's actually good news for me, since the cat was a pain in the ass, but it's sad for him. Last weekend we went to my Grandmother's house to see her and my aunt. If you read Zaron's blog, you saw the pictures and read what happened. Absolutely nothing. We just walked through the house in the dark, snapping pictures and provoking spirits. Maybe next time. Shaba.

Happy Birthday To Me!!!

2005-08-17T10:56:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday to me.
Happy birthday to me.
Happy birthday dear me.
Happy birthday to me.

Back for a Minute

2005-07-21T13:00:00.000-05:00

So, I've been feeling a bit under the weather lately, and couldn't figure out what it was. I made an appointment with my OBGYN, since it's been four years since my last visit, just to see what the deal was. Apparently, I have a raging urinary infection. Great! I feel like someone is scraping my insides with a fork. Oh, but I'm not the only one in pain. Oh no. NHP got bit on his thigh by a brown recluse and now his whole leg is swollen and red. The part that was actually bitten has now turned black and he has a hole in his leg. On top of that, the poison has apparently spread through his body, because more bumps have popped up on his hand and the back of his leg. He has been taking meds and trying to get rest, but I am really worried about it. So, that's been my life for the past week or so. They just don't make folks like they use to.

Come One, Come All

2005-06-30T10:13:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow night is my first night out in over a month and I would love for everyone to meet up. I haven't figured out what to do yet, so if anyone has any ideas, feel free to speak up. As long as it doesn't mean hanging out at The Plaza or Bailey's I'm cool with it. Irish suggested Dave's, but I may drown in the sea of fratboys. I was thinking about meeting somewhere around 8:00. Give me some ideas.

Florida Bound

2005-06-23T14:00:00.000-05:00

Four hours and counting until I'm out if this great city and bound for Orlando. I dread the drive, since it will take me 9-10 hours to get there, but I can't wait to get away and relax. Nothing to do for 5 days but lounge by the pool an play with poohbear. I can't wait!
In other news, I tried the new Vault-energy drink/soda. It's really good. Ususally the energy drinks have a funky taste, but this one tastes more like Mountain Dew. My brother told me about it last weekend, but I didn't try it until today. I highly recommend it if you like Mountain Dew. It's pretty tasty.
Oh yeah...nah nah na boo boo...I'm going Florida.

It's The End of the World

2005-06-17T16:38:00.000-05:00

Over the past few week I have seen several "the world is about to fall apart" movies. Last week I watched The Day After Tomorrow. Really good movie, but somewhat disturbing. It had a lot of "yeah right" scenarios, but over all it was good. Then, a few nights ago I saw Core. I had never heard of this movie and I'm not quite sure if it was ever in theaters. Basically, the outer core is a ring of liquid that spins around the inner core. This makes the magnetic field on Earth. In the movie the outer core stopped spinning and caused horrible side effects. So, this team of scientists and astronauts had to go into the center of the Earth to set off nuclear explosions and jump-start the outer core. Also a movie with "yeah right" scenarios, but still a really good movie. All those movies have the same sort of plot and they have gotten very predictable. NHP and I kept guessing who would die first and what would happen next. We got every guess right. Last night we decided to change up our viewing a bit and we watched Anchorman. Freakin' hilarious! If you haven't seen that movie, I recommend you check it out. Tonight is once again movie night, but I haven't decided what to watch. I just have a feeling it will have nothing to do with the death and destruction of thousands of people. Kind of a depressing way to start the weekend.

Are You Serious?

2005-06-08T13:41:00.000-05:00

We hired a new girl about a month ago to work part time and kinda help us with the patient overload. She is a middle aged woman and seemed to have experience with the job we hired her for. Apparently she has never seen a computer before in her life. My 3 year old has better computer skills than this woman. She types like the keys keep moving. I just don't understand how it can be that difficult. I figured after she worked with it awhile, she would catch on, but she has no long term memory. Or short term, for that matter. I caught her trying to open up my hard drive the other day to put trash in it. She thought it was the trash can. Yes she did. She has made my job harder, because I have to stop what I'm doing to explained the same things over and over again. I was on the phone with Irish this morning for 5 minutes and she came over to my desk twice while I was on the phone to ask the same question. I just about lost it. How can anyone be that dumb and not retain a single piece of information? I don't claim to be the smartest person in the world, but I can take basic instructions and roll with them. Geez! Ok, I'll stop ranting. Just a bit frustrated with the whole thing. Not only do I have to train her, the other girl is out for the week, and I have to do her job, my job, and the new girl's job. I WANT TO GO HOME!!!!

So Sleepy

2005-06-03T13:44:00.000-05:00

In the past 2 weeks I haven't gone to bed before 12:00 and it's finally catching up with me. I know 12:00 doesn't seem late, but that was the early night. All the other nights I went to bed around 2 or 3. That sucks when I have to get up and go to work. Or like last weekend, I had poohbear and I got to sleep around 4 only to be woken up around 6:30 because he wanted to play. It's amazing the hell a body goes through when you don't get enough rest. Plus, when I do get to sleep, I either have bad dreams or I wake up once an hour for no freakin' reason. Oh well. The way things are looking right now, I can expect this trend to continue for at least 2 more weeks. Maybe, things will go back to normal soon. For the sake of everyone that has to put up with my cranky ass, I truly hope so.

Long Time No Post

2005-05-31T16:54:00.000-05:00

I finally got a second to sit down and write something. Not that I know what to say, but I figured I'd better try to say something before I get booted from the blogger society. I have just been in a completely different state of mind lately. I've been preoccupied by NHP and haven't done much else. Having said that, I had a great weekend. I didn't really do much, which is what makes it great. I had poohbear, and he was sick for most the weekend, so we just stayed in and played. This weekend NHP's mom is coming down from Virginia and I will be doing the family thing. If we have some time this weekend, I would love to meet up with everyone. If anything is going on, let me know. I saw trivia is on for tomorrow night. Maybe one day I'll be able to go, but this is not the week. I was glad to see that I'm not the only blog slacker. I see Irish hasn't had much to say lately either. She seems to be pretty busy with work....and stuff. Anyhoo, hope to see you all soon!

Four Letter Word

2005-05-20T14:04:00.000-05:00

So, I mentioned in one of my last posts that I was sort of seeing someone. It's the craziest thing. We have been friends for the past 12 years. We met through my best friend when I started dating her brother. This guy was a friend of his and we all lived together at one point. Through the most abusive relationship I ever had, he stayed by my side and after I broke up with the jerk, he remained my friend. I even met my now ex-husband through him and when we were married, he lived in an apartment off the back of our house. He was there when I brought my son home from the hospital and he has watched him grow. I have always turned to him when I needed to talk and I have always trusted him with my deepest secrets. So, here's the crazy part. How do you start a relationship in the middle? In most relationships, you have to get to know someone and figure out their weird habits. With him, I already know him better than anyone. I have loved him, like a friend, for years. But, now with the possibility of something more, my feelings for him have multiplied. I have the feeling like we have been in this relationship for years, but I'm nervous like I'm in a new relationship. It's the funniest feeling I've ever had. It's all the best parts of a relationship all in one. The comfort of an old love with the thrill of a new one. Maybe this will be the greatest romance of all time. I mean, we have been building it for 12 years. Although he doesn't read my blog, maybe one day he will ........I love you NHP.

Nerds of the World Unite

2005-05-19T12:13:00.000-05:00

Well I was one of the nerds that stood in line for Star Wars last night. We already had our tickets, we just had to wait to get a good seat. I really liked the movie. It was better than Episodes I and II. It was kind of depressing, though. Honestly, I could have watched Hayden shit for 2 hours and it would have been ok with me. He was the best part of the movie for me. Damn, he needs to be my next baby daddy. Anyhoo, I saw a midget dressed up like Yoda. That made the 2 hour wait in line not so bad. He was walking around the crowd posing for pictures and being all cute with his little self. I wanted to run up and hug him, but I realized the little person inside might not find that too amusing. Oh well, all in all it was pretty fun. Although, now I'm wishing I had gotten at least 5 more hours of sleep. I would love the hell out of a power nap about now. No such luck.

Long Time No See

2005-05-17T13:44:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since my last post, but it's not my fault. I tried to post on Friday. I had this great post that was really long and the f-ing blogger screwed up. I couldn't get back on and even is I could have, I was not about to write that shit over again. Anyhoo, tomorrow is the big night! STAR WARS!!! We(Mr and Mrs Hutton, Noodle, Fazo and myself) will be at Rave in Vestavia. If anyone else will be there, let me know and maybe we can meet up. I was just told that we are going to be in line at 9 to get a good seat. Yeah, that's great and all but the movie doesn't start until 12:00. That's too damn long to stand in line. I'm a fan and all but, come on, 3 hours...really. Oh well. I guess I'll take it for the team. This past weekend was kind of nice. I had my pooh bear, so we played and planted flowers. Sunday NHP came over and we cooked dinner and went to Lowes to pick out paint to paint my apartment. I had a thought for a minute that I may paint, but then I got over it. I will be moving once my lease is up, so what's the point. I'll wait until I get a house. That's about all that's been happening in my world lately. I'll keep you posted on the growing romance between me and a certain someone. Wish me luck...I need it.

Beach Bum

2005-05-06T15:26:00.000-05:00

Well, Noodle Spiller aka Sleep Shitter just called me at work. He was sitting on the beach drinking a beer. He told me a few days ago that he was going with his girlfriend for one of her friend's weddings. The reason he called is still a mystery and I try not to give him any opportunity to fuck with me anymore, so I didn't ask. I just told him what a bastard he was for calling me at work while he was sipping a cold one on the beach. He rambled on about what he had been doing and then he blurts out "I'm horny." What the fuck? I asked where his woman was and he said she had gone up to the condo. So I pointed out the fact that he is on the beach with his girlfriend, who just went to THEIR condo and instead of following her and taking care of business, he calls me to tell me he's horny. What kind of messed up shit is that? I just told him he needed to go find his piece of ass and take care of that problem. He mumbled something about not wanting her and then I changed the subject before he could try and convince me that he wants me again. So here I am talking about what I did last night and what my plans for the weekend are, when he chimes in with,"Your voice is sexy like that." Yeah....right. My sinuses are so bad at this point that the only way I can breath is through my mouth. How is that sexy? I guess he finds mouthbreathing and snot sniffing arousing. Whatever does it for him I guess. Even though I've been trying to be strong, if I was truly strong I wouldn't answer the phone anymore. I guess a part of me likes to think that some part of him still wants me. I never have taken rejection very well and by him wanting me now I feel less hurt by him leaving me before. Hey, I never claimed to be the smartest or the most sane person out there. At least I can admit it.

Pet My Rock

2005-05-06T14:08:00.000-05:00

I've read several posts today about childhood and the games we played. For some strange reason this reminded me of my step sister and her pet rock. When I was about 4 she introduced me to the world of pet rocks. She had one that she had drawn a face on and named and made it her very own. Being 4 and thinking she was cool because she was a good bit older than me, I had to have one too. My brother and I searched her Grandmother's yard for the best rocks and with help from him, I had a face on one in no time. Once we had our little army of rock creatures, we had to figure out what to do with them. Only one solution seemed logical...Rock Olympics. I don't recall exactly the tasks we put these smiling rocks through. I'm sure there was a long jump or something. Either way we had hours of fun with nothing more than rocks with expressions. Anyway, at the time I thought it was the coolest toy ever made. Do you think kids now would put down their IPods and portable DVD players to pick up a silly rock and draw a face on it? I enjoy technology as much as the next guy and at this point in my life it really helps me day to day, but I'm just glad that I grew up in a not so advanced time. I only wish kids today were encouraged to use their imagination as much as we were. Instead they're handed their thoughts to them via computers, video games, television and who knows what else. No wonder kids are so screwed up these days.

Here's Your Dirty Laundry..

2005-05-03T09:31:00.000-05:00

Minnesota's ex commented on my blog about being with him while I thought we were together. She apparently found out that he had lied to her and to me, so she was going to let me know. I tried to be a nice person and help her by answering questions that he had lied about. I should have listened to my inner voice telling me it was a mistake. Now she's airing it out on my blog and her's. I should have known not to even step in that shit. Now I tracked it all over the house.

To Fairy: Stop talking about this everywhere! He cheated on you. He cheated on me. He'll cheat on every girl he goes out with. He is a loser and always will be.

Stupid Pollen

2005-05-02T13:33:00.000-05:00

So, I missed the blogger meeting Thursday night. Thanks to a little thing called pollen, my life has been miserable for the last 6 days. Apparently, I had a severe allergic reation to the pollen in the air. This spawned asthma attacks and finally a sinus infection. As you can imagine I was home bound this weekend. I missed so much. Blogger meeting, Mrs.Hutton's birthday bash and Doo Dah Day. What ever shall I do. Oh well. It's probably for the best. Doo Dah day would have been horrible with all the dog hair and flowers. Mrs.Hutton's party was at a bar, which I can't be around smoke either, so there goes that fun. I feel like I have gerbils shoved in my nose. I can't get air through and every now and then one tries to crawl further up my nasal cavity. Good times, really. Maybe this upcoming weekend will be much better. Hope to see you guys soon.

Crumbs Chief

2005-04-22T14:27:00.000-05:00

My life is now complete. I just found out Danger Mouse is going to be released on DVD at the end of May. How great is that? For more info on our furry friend check out http://www.clubdm.com/.

Tantrum

2005-04-22T13:36:00.000-05:00

Well, my plans tonight fell through. I was going to meet a friend for dinner and drinks, but she suddenly acquired a stomach virus. So, now I am stuck trying to find last minute plans. I thought about going to NHP's to watch a movie, but he is moody. He'll take it as me putting him 2nd and throw a bitch fit. Don't need all the drama. Maybe I'll go to Irish's for a toenail painting party, or just sit on my couch watching the minutes tick by until I get so bored that I call it a wasted evening and pass out at 9. Tomorrow seems to be a bust too. I was going to the Magic City Art Connection, but it's suppose to rain all day. Damn! I feel like throwing a good ol' fashion tantrum. Ya know when you were a kid and the only solution to a plan gone wrong was to throw yourself on the floor and scream like someone was killing you? That's my feeling right now. I guess I'll refrain...for now. I NEED A LIFE!!!!!

That'll Do Pig, That'll Do

2005-04-15T09:43:00.000-05:00

My brother came over Wednesday night and we stayed up late watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spottless Mind. Which is now my favorite movie. I could watch it over and over and over. Anyway, so having stayed up so late, my plan last night was to go home, put on my jammies and curl up on the couch for the rest of the night. I did just that and was settled down watching Garden State when Noodle Spiller called. He was apparently trying to kill time while he waited on his friend to call. They were going to see one of his friends play at RedLine in Hoover. So, he asked me to go to dinner with him. I, being the dumbass that I am, jumped up and got ready to go. Why can't I just say, "No thanks. I really don't want to hang out with you tonight. After all you did help kill my marriage and left me with a broken heart." But, instead I say, "Sure! I would love to go." I'm such a dumbass. So, he came over and we went to eat and then to RedLine to meet up with his friend. Noodle Spiller had told me what a great musician his friend was and how they had welcomed him into his band, but not once did he mention how cute he was. I am a sucker for a dark haired, brown eyed guy. I just melt when I see one. So, yes I hung on his every word and caught myself giggling too much. The girl we went to see was good. She sounded just like Natalie form the Dixie Chicks. She did hit quite a few notes that made you cringe. Not that they were bad, they were just really loud and piercing. She's really not sounding so good, huh? It's hard to describe, but she really was good. Anyhoo, during the show, Noodle Spiller started ranting to his friend about his woman. How she bitches at him and breaks up with him all the time, then an hour later acts like nothing happened. So I chimed in a few times with, "She's a crazy bitch." I don't think Noodle liked that too much, but at this point...fuck 'em. So as he is ranting I just looked at his friend and said,"Yeah, he gave up a really great girl that loved him and treated him like a God for this crazy bitch." Then I just looked at Noodle and smirked. He looked like I had just reached under the table, taken his nuts in my hand and squeezed. Just as he opened his mouth to say something I got up, excused myself to the little girls room and let him try and explain that one. When I got back, his friend went to the bar and Noodle tried to talk his ass out of guilt. I just drank my beer and pretended to be listening to this lame ass speech that I've heard a thousand times before. After he was done I just laughed until my eyes watered. I don't know what came over me. I just laughed. All the times he gave me this speech and I fell for it. All the times I gazed into his eyes and thought he truly loved me, and now all I could do was laugh because I realized what a moron he is. It felt good to laugh in his face, though. To let him know that I'm not falling for that shit anymore. So, shortly after we called it an evening and I drove him to his car. He gave me a hug and then a kiss on the cheek. That's what kills me about this guy. No matter what, he always acts like he has control over my heart. Like a kiss on the cheek was going to change my mind about him being a total asshat. Not likely sir, not likely.

That Zany Mr. T

2005-04-08T17:01:00.000-05:00

I was checking out some other blogs when I ran across http://tornblue.com. There was a hilarious video of Mr T. Check it out.
http://www.ifilm.com/WMPPlaylist.asx?ifilmId=2667017&bandwidth=300.

What Would Elvis Do?

2005-04-08T14:53:00.000-05:00

I just received a phone call from a really close friend who seemed to be shaken about something.

Friend: I have to tell you something.
Me:Ok.
Freind: Something happened to me a few minutes ago and you are the only one that I can tell.
Me: What's wrong?
Friend: Ya know how I didn't go to sleep last night?
Me:Yeah.
Friend: Well, I just passed out on the toilet.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What's that like, Elvis?
Friend: I was so scared. I don't know how long I was out, but my legs were asleep and I didn't know where I was.
Me: So were you still on the toilet when you woke up or were you ass up in the bathroom floor?
Friend: No, I was still on the toilet with my head against the wall.
Me: Did you have toilet paper stuck to your cheek and graffiti on your forehead?
Friend: No...well I don't think so.
Me: So what was it? The cool porcelain on your butt or the lovely smell of 2000 Flushes Blue?
Friend: I don't know, I just had to tell you. You are the only one I could tell.
Me: Thanks. I'm glad we're at that point in our relationship where you can tell me about passing out on the shitter. I'm not sure how to take that really.

Class in a Glass

2005-04-01T13:57:00.000-06:00

So I decided last night spur of the moment to meet some friends of mine at an open house. It was at Pepper Place. A new store called Atmosphere just opened and they were celebrating yuppy style. It was alot of fun, though. There was alot of really cool things there. I fell in love with a pair of wooden wall sconses. My friend NHP is suppose to go pick them up for me after work today. There was also a cool lamp store called Illuminations. I saw several lamps that I wanted, but my favorite was a chandelier that cost $1,600. Pocket change,right. The best part of the night was getting my drink on with NHP, my ex-brother-in-law, and a couple of NHP's friends. My ex's brother ended up having more than enough beer and wine and flirting with every girl he saw. (and I mean every girl) At one point he was chasing a 40 year old woman and when she ran away he was telling some 4 year old that he really liked her scarf. I think that was his pick up line. I do have to say though that I was shocked when he started hitting on the owner of Atmosphere and she didn't seem to mind. Anyhoo, the night ended around 10:30 with the brother still trying to get laid, his friend trying to shove a cracker down his throat, and NHP and I heading home. I think tonight will consist of a quiet night with my poohbear and NHP watching The Incredibles.

Florida By Way of Atlanta

2005-03-19T18:55:00.000-06:00

Well, for those of you that care, I made it safely to Orlando. I was suppose to leave last night around 7:00, but due to problems beyond my control, we left around 9:30 or 10:00. Let me just say to anyone that has never made that trip, that is the longest most boring drive ever. We drove until about 1:30 this morning, then my son and my nephew both started screaming to get out of the car. We pulled over in some town I have never heard of, at some shady looking gas station to let them stretch their legs. As I am standing in this gas station, holding my nephew in one arm and my son at bay with the other, I felt like such white trash. The kids both coughed like they had some infectious disease, with "I haven't had enough sleep" bags under their eyes and their hair in some sort of "my mommy doesn't comb my hair...ever" thing going on. I'm sure by this time I looked just as raggedy and the way the people looked at us was if to say,"I can't believe they have those poor children out at this hour!" I was tempted to walk up to the cashier, plop a 40 on the counter and ask for a pack of "Ribbed for Her Pleasure" just for shits and giggles. I would never see these people again and I was too tired to give a shit anyway, but I refrained. So, we made a pee run and continued on our voyage. We(my sister-in-law and I )talked and laughed and tried to keep each other awake. All the while my eyes were rolling around in my head from exhaustion. I tried at one point to close my eyes and rest for a minute, but at this time a dumbass desided to pull out in front of us, causing her to slam on the brakes and causing my heart to jump up in my throat. That was the last time my eyes closed longer than a blink the rest of the way. Anyhoo, we got here about 7:00 this moring and I made it until about 1:00, then I curled up in my daddy's bed and passed the fuck out. So far, I have been to Wal-Mart, cause apparently I can't go anywhere without going to Wal-Mart, and managed to get a sunburn on one of my arms while sitting in my dad's backyard. Yep, ONE of my arms...and it's a farmer's tan too. So I have to subject myself to more sun just to catch the rest of my body up to the level of burn on the one arm. I just can't go back home and explain how I went to Florida and only managed to get sun on one arm. Well, that's my vacation so far. Long ass drive, trip to Wally World and already sunburned. Man, this is the life!

Yeah..But Ya Got A Booger.

2005-03-14T13:19:00.000-06:00

Friday night was my brother's birthday and we had a great time getting drunk and making fools of ourselves. We went to Stix to eat dinner and followed it up with a trip to the Plaza for beer and pool. Good times. We listened to the stylings of some rent-a-DJ, and danced like Michael Jackson. I can't speak for anyone else, but I had so much fun. At one point during the night I had Noodle Spiller confess that he wanted me, for which I slid my hand in his front pocket and said,"Really? " Then I pulled his phone out of his pocket and said, "You can call your girlfriend and tell her then." He stood there with his mouth open while I turned and walked away. He is such a freak. Then we wondered up to Heath's apartment to bug him for a few hours. Noodle Spiller and my sister-in-law sat on the couch in a drunken state. He played guitar and she discussed the meaning of life while kicken back a cold one. Man, I love watching drunk people in action. That was the night, we went out, had a blast, called it a night and swirved home. Yeah...but ya got a booger.

Happy Birthday!

2005-03-11T09:39:00.000-06:00

So ya say it's your birthday.....you know the rest of the song. Sing it to yourselves. Happy birthday to my big bro! I hope you have a great day.

Future Strippers

2005-03-07T17:12:00.000-06:00

My weekend started off with a night of Spongebob the movie and a bucket of cookie dough and just went up from there. Saturday Irish, Angelbaby, Poohbear and I went to the park. When we got there we noticed the parking lot was blocked off, so we had to park 3 blocks away and hoof it all the way there. We saw some baby skaters(I love me a skater boy!), and watched Angelbaby and Poohbear bounce on a pole. I was just saying how Anglebaby was going to grow up to be a stripper, when Poohbear jumps on the pole. I hung my head in shame. Anyhoo, then we tried to get into the parking lot but we got stopped by Buffy collecting $15 a head to eat some chili and listen to a jam band that we could hear 3 blocks away. Yeah...good luck with that. After we drug the kids kicking and screaming from the park we went to get my hair did. Same thing only different. Sunday I sat my sorry ass on the couch while my son ate dirt from my flower pots. I realized it when he came in hacking up a root and snotting potting soil. Man, I am a great mother. I'm ashamed to even say it but maybe if I talk about it I'll change my ways. Sunday morning Poohbear woke up at 6:30....I got up at 8:30. When I walked into the livingroom, he was sucking down the last of a Mountain Dew from the night before. He just smiled and said, "I ate 1,2,3 cookies." So, while I was sleeping my baby sat by himself eating cookies and drinking old soda for breakfast. I wanted to cry. So that was my weekend. Lots of Spongebob(saw it 4 times), lots of cookies, and lots of bad parenting.

Children's Weekend

2005-03-04T13:45:00.000-06:00

This weekend there will be no parties. That's right, no late nights, no drinking until I stumble home. Just a nice relaxing weekend with my son. We are going to watch the Spongebob movie,(thanks HD) go to the park with Irish and Angelbaby, build a fort in the livingroom and eat more cookies than either one of us need. That may sound boring to most people, but I had much rather do that every weekend than go out partying. The older I get, the more time I want to spend with my baby, just doing silly things. These days are precious and I know it will build great memories for him. Anyhoo, to all those that are going out this weekend, be careful, have fun and I'll see you all next weekend at Meet the Bloggers:Home Addition.

What a Weekend!

2005-02-28T13:46:00.000-06:00

So this weekend was pretty good. Friday night I went to Stomp, the Plaza and then to The Station. Stomp was great, the Plaza was...well the Plaza, and the Station was actually really cool. Saturday started off badly(hangover and fight with the ex) but progressed into a really fun night. It was Meet the Bloggers part 3. Everyone showed up at some point during the evening, some left before others, but we all had fun I think. I won 5 games of pool, 4 of which were in a row. That never happens! Then about 2 in the morning I'm sitting at the bar looking around and realized the only people left from our group was me, Frenchy, and Noodle Spiller. At that point I called it an evening and went home...alone. Seems to be the norm for me lately. I guess it's better than going home with someone that turns out to be a lying psycho. Anyhoo, as for the quotes of the evening, really only one stands out in my head:
"I am not poop."

P.S. Thanks for all the great advise Kenn. Revenge is a beautiful thing.

The Noodle Spiller

2005-02-25T09:43:00.000-06:00

One of my ex-boyfriends called this morning as I was getting ready for work. He's the one that I went out with after I left my husband. The so-called friend turned boyfriend, turned ex-boyfriend. Anyway, he has this talent for sniffing out my happiness and trying to cash in on it. He wanted me to know that he and his woman were not doing so well. The one he left me for. What does he want me to say to that? "Sorry to hear it,guy." "Sorry you dumped me for her and it's not what you thought it was going to be." "You shouldn't be such an over dramatic prick." So he is telling me this like I care and then asks how my life is going. I could have been the better person and told him that my life was going shitty too, so he would feel better about his life...but I didn't. I told him I was so happy and things were going so well right now.hehehe. I know it sounds mean, but oh well. He's a web weaver and it's time he realizes it.

Shoot Me Now

2005-02-22T09:26:00.000-06:00

I had another one of my "where's my gun" migraines yesterday. I use to only get them 2 to 3 times a year. Now I can set my clock by them. Over the last year I have gotten 2 to 3 a month. What sucks about them is I am out for the rest of the day. I take just under a lethal amount of medicine and curl up in a ball in the dark. The one yesterday was the worst one in a long time. I had to call my mom to pick me up from work, but I made her sit in the waiting room of my office for 30 minutes before I could leave. I was curled up in an exam chair with the lights off and my head in my hands. If you have ever had one, you feel my pain. If you haven't, just imagine someone opening up the top off your head and scraping a fork across your brain for 3 or 4 hours, only pausing to stab it in your temples every few seconds. Yep...that just about sums it up.

Back By Popular Demand

2005-02-18T13:47:00.000-06:00

My brother insists on me writing another post, so here goes. I had a really good night last night. I went to The Comedy Club with Hemisphere to see some lady from Last Comic Standing. She didn't show because of a freak accident with the rotating doors at the airport, but we were entertained by the comic stylings of Moo Moo. There were other comics, but I could only remember Moo Moo's name. (for obvious reasons) Anyhoo, they were all really funny.
This weekend I am going to my Granny's house for my nephew's birthday party. She called last night to inform me her ghosts were acting up, so that should be interesting. I'll keep you posted on any ghostly behavior. Other than that, not much to report. No new cheese flavors to admire. No new coffee drinks to let me loose. Just another day.

Crappuccino

2005-02-15T17:30:00.000-06:00

I never have been a fan of coffee. I love the way it smells, but always hated the taste. Today a friend of mine stopped by and gave me a Frappuccino. I loved the taste of it, but the after taste was horrible. Plus, it made my ass scream like banshee. They should serve that crap with a side of Imodium. Anyhoo, just wanted to share that little tid bit with ya.

Valentine's Day

2005-02-14T17:47:00.001-06:00

It sucks. Enough said.

Bloggers: Take Two

2005-02-14T17:47:00.000-06:00

Well, the 2nd blogger meeting went off without a hitch. Same great taste, none of the drama. I drank way too much, got felt up by several people and went home alone. Good times.

Shame On You

2005-02-11T13:31:00.000-06:00

Player has been a naughty boy. Apparently his games are coming to an end. He has this wild idea that I tried to hook up with his roommate and I guess he is trying to get back at me by dating my best friend. Here lies the problem. First of all,I really liked Player, alot. I was starting to have major feelings for him and he just stopped talking to me. I took that as being dumped. So, I ran into his roommate one night after the fact and being a tad bit intoxicated, I flirted. I flirt with everyone, but it doesn't mean I want to hook up. I have known his roommate for 10 years and we have always been flirty, but I just don't like him that way. Anyway, he assumes I am trying to hook up and gets mad. Then, he got over it until he saw me with Minnesota. He thinks Minnesota looks just like him and apparently I only dated him because of that. Shortly after I hook up with Minnesota, he starts dating Irish. I found it strange that he would go for my best friend, but oh well, it wasn't my place to stop it, we were in fact broken up. Now, it all comes out that he was trying to get back at me for something I didn't even do. How messed up is that? So, not only did he try to hurt me, but he could have hurt my best friend in the process. Thank God Irish is a strong person, otherwise I would have to kick his ass. I just don't understand his reasoning. If he liked me, why the hell did he stop talking to me? If he didn't, why is he trying to get back at me for something he thinks I did? I guess me and Player need to have a little talk about life.

No Mommy it's A.T.

2005-02-09T15:23:00.000-06:00

So this morning my son pulls out my E.T. dvd and asks me if he can watch it. This started a 15 minutes war over how you pronounce "E.T". He had watched it over at my mom's house a few days before and apparently picked up her southern accent. He was calling it "A.T".( Say it with a thick southern accent and see what you get.) Anyway, he goes on to say,"That little fellar's name is A.T." Yep, "that little fellar". I could feel my skin crawling at the very words. I never have been able to stand hearing kids talk in this manner. Ya know, southern. I know I have a southern accent because I grew up here, but I try to tame if possible. Instead of "ya'll" I say "you guys". Instead of "coke" I say "soda". He has picked up on those things, but obviously not enough. I don't know why it bothers me so bad, but it really does.

Hello, my name is Tori and I am anal.(Man, that's gonna cause some comments.) Notice I said I am anal, not I do anal.

Strange Creatures

2005-02-04T13:01:00.000-06:00

Why is it when you really like a guy and you give them all your attention, they treat you like shit. But, when you act like you could care less and don't spend much time with them, they act like love sick dogs? Why can't you guys just be normal? Example: When Minnesota and I started hanging out, he acted all cool and gave me the "I don't care what you do. I don't want a relationship." But, now that he screwed up and I haven't been giving him all my attention, he is a drooling fool. I guess it's the whole thrill of the chase thing. I am guilty of the same thing.....when I was in high school. Now, being an adult, I like a little honesty in my men. I know, that's never going to happen, but it would be nice. Ok. I feel better. I just needed to rant for a minute. Back to my love of cheese.
I am forever grateful to my brother for introducing me to Havarti. It is the God of cheese. This is the creamiest, most yummy cheese I have ever tried. Heaven on bread!

Blogger Nation

2005-01-31T13:09:00.000-06:00

So Saturday night was our 1st blogger party. I had a blast aside from the usual drama that is my life. I was glad to meet HemisphereDancer and Batonga. They are so sweet and really funny. Of course Hemisphere showed up late and ducked out early, and I think he was offended by our drunken behavior. Batonga, on the otherhand, was the first one there and still going strong after I left. He's a party animal.
So allow me to sum up my evening:
I got my boobs grab more times in one night than in my entire life and not by a guy.
I got into a fight with Minnesota for talking to my ex...big freakin deal.
Irish took a picture of my boobs, which you will not be seeing on any of our blogs.
Irish got her phone stolen, but she posted a picture of the guys that took it on her blog.
I got smashed and almost fell asleep at The Arena.
Went home with Minnesota, fell asleep before he could try anything, dreamed about my ex, woke up at the butt crack of dawn, drove home, passed out until noon.
So, that's it, that was our blogger meeting. Lot of alcohol, lot of drama.

Deja Vu

2005-01-28T09:43:00.000-06:00

Last night I got bored sitting alone at home and just felt like going out. So, what did I do? I called the Player. Yep, I called him. Anyhoo, we met at a local pub and went in long enough to decide that we were not in the mood for the place. It smelled like someone had pissed in the floor and tried to cover the scent with beer. Also, my ex friend and now arch enemy "The Man" was there. So we headed to our favorite Mexican establishment for some tasty yummies. So here we are sitting at a table we probably sat at all those months ago when we were dating and we ordered the same things we always did. I just had to laugh at the weirdness. Anyway, we were catching up on all the stuff we have missed in each others lives over the past 6 months, when his Russian friend showed up. Very, very sweet girl, but something was kinda off. She was dressed like a hobo and when offered Player's scraps, she attacked them like she hadn't eaten in days. It was the craziest shit I had ever seen. As she was licking the final grain off rice from his plate, "The Man" called to let her know he was on his way. I'm sure I looked as if my dinner was about to make an encore perfomance. This was one person I could live a lifetime without seeing again. So, he shows up and of all things, he sat down next to me and gave me a hug like we were best pals. Just like that. Just like we had never hated each other. What was that about? The Player thought he was trying to make him mad because he was sitting next to the Russian chic. The Man apparently has a crush on her now. After all that we decided to go back to The Player's house and hang out. Not much to report there. We played with his computer until 12:30 this morning and he burned me 3 cds. After that we thanked each other for hanging out, did the generic "it was nice to see you again" and I headed home. All in all I had a pretty good night. Well, it sure beat sitting at home watching another mind numbing reality show.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

2005-01-21T09:34:00.000-06:00

Life looks good right now. I got my hair did last night and damn am I sexy. Then, I went this morning and filed my taxes. I won't brag about my fat refund, but my bills will finally be paid on time for a change. See, life is good for now. I am going to stop fretting about having a man and just be me. I read a complete stranger's blog the other day and it said I need a man. That was a bitch slap into reality. Reading back over my past blogs I see the problem. I have wasted too much time on the subject of men. I will now devote my attention to cheese and my love for it. (sigh) I do love me some cheese.

By the way, as soon as Irish shows me how to add stuff to my page, I'll hook you guys up with some pics. Peace out!

Here We Go Again

2005-01-04T13:01:00.000-06:00

Well, another year has come and gone. They seem to go by faster every year. Anyhoo, New Years was a blast. I went to a friend's party where I was kissed on the cheek by 3 different guys at midnight. ON THE CHEEK! All of which were by guys who were either married or engaged. There was the one old man who pointed out that I was the only single girl at the party so I should "hook up" with him for a New Year's kiss. I made myself unavailable at the time of the countdown. I had one ex that hinted around all night that he wanted me and another ex that showed up around 2:00. I did get a peck on the lips from him, but he was off to hook up with Irish the next night. All in all a pretty good night, but I do wish Minnesota could have been there. He was the only one I wanted to kiss at midnight and the only one not around. Oh well...(sigh). I drank, danced, sang off key, nearly wet myself and went home alone. What a great way to start a new year.

Happy New Year!

2004-12-31T09:48:00.000-06:00

Well today is the last day of this horrible year. I really hope next year is much better than this one has been. My New Year's resolution is to be less jaded and hateful. I am going into this year with an open mind and open heart and a whole new outlook on life. I will find love this year. I will be a better mother to my baby. I will be a better friend. I will stop worrying about the small things and focus on what's important.
I'm good enough. I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me.-Stuart Smalley

Tis The Season

2004-12-21T14:09:00.000-06:00

So by now everyone has read about the party on Saturday night. (Thanks for the kisses IG). Well my experience was the same as theirs with the exception of Minnesota's tongue in my mouth all night. Merry Christmas to me! Oh and thanks to everyone that ate my pie and loved it. hehe!

Let's Talk

2004-12-17T10:02:00.000-06:00

WARNING TO ALL FAMILY MEMBERS! DO NOT READ THIS! SEVERE TRAUMA WILL FOLLOW!
So let's talk about sex. Let's talk about the fact that I'm not getting it, it's all I think about and when I was married I didn't want any part of it. Why is that? Why is it when you can get it any time you want it you don't care, but the minute it's gone that's all you think about. Maybe it's just me. And I'm not talking about this so every pervert that reads this can offer to satisfy my needs. If I wanted that I could just go to a bar and grab the first hot guy I see and have meaningless sex all night. I am past all that . I just want to find someone that wants to have a conversation every now and then. Someone that wants to be my friend as well as my sex slave. Not someone that offers to come over late at night and leave before the sun comes up. Why is it so hard to find nice guys? They all talk like they are the shit until it comes time to prove it. I have met more good-for-nothing crap weasels in the last year! Let me sum up my findings:
1)A so-called friend that talked me into leaving my husband and then dumped me for someone else months later.
2)A 30 something year old virgin that worshipped Ronald Reagan and thought a good time consisted of hanging out with a bunch of uptight lawyers on New Years Eve. Stopped talking after my shocked response to his admitting the virgin thing.
3)A wanna-be country musician that didn't want to commit to anything but his music.
4)A brother of a friend that apparently just wanted to have sex. Went out for a couple of months and with no warning we were done.
5)The Ben guy...well...you know that story.
So you see my problem. I keep finding these guys that I don't need to be with. I'm tired of playing these sick ass games. Especially since they are the ones making all the rules.

Surprise! You've Just Been Blogged!

2004-12-08T13:22:00.000-06:00

Friday night I had a very strange conversation with an old boyfriend. We'll call him....oh hell his name is Nathan. Anyway, Nathan and I dated for a few months last year after I split from my husband. We have been friends for 7 years and in that time we had several conversations about "what if". We tried many times to be together but he always made more promises than he could keep. The last time we went out he gave me the, "I love you and want to marry you" speech. Well, no more than 2 weeks after that he had dumped me and moved on to the girl he is with now. He is engaged to this girl and until Friday I thought everything in his strange little world was going great. So, here's how it played out. He asked me about a guy I went out with after we broke up and went on to tell me that he wasn't right for me. Then he told me that he didn't belong with the current girlfriend. He also told me that he still loves me and misses me very much. WHAT!? After the hell I went through after he dumped me, he has the balls to tell me that. I can't count how many times he has screwed me over and came back to say, "I made a mistake." My first reaction was to play him like he played me and screw him over just as bad. I was going to play his game and make sure him and his girlfriend were broken up, then tell him how much of an idiot he is and dump him. Then I remembered that I am an adult. So, I'm done. To all that read this blog and know this snake, be aware. He is a charming liar that will do whatever is necessary to get what he wants, then throw it away without a care when he's done.
1) Told my friend after we broke up that he never loved me. He knew I loved him and he needed that at the time.
2) Told same friend he didn't like my son and was quoted saying he was a "Brat".
3) Told me to get a divorce because he wanted to marry me. 2 weeks after the papers were signed he dumped me for someone else.
4) A month after he dumped me he sent his new girlfriend to my office to pick out glasses.
The list goes on and on.

So Long to Benoria

2004-11-22T10:44:00.000-06:00

Well, as you've probably guessed from my lack of mentioning, Ben and I are no more. I started feeling more like a booty call than a girlfriend, so I had to drop that fool. The last time I saw him was Halloween...the leg humping story. He was all about taking me to a movie that next Wednesday and being all boyfriend like. Then, that Monday he asked me if I wanted to go to a UAB game with him instead. I told him that was fine. Wednesday he called to let me know he was going to the game with one of his friends, but we could hang out afterwards. Translation:" I'm going out with my friend to get drunk. Then I'll come over and we can do it." No thank you. I am so past that. I have way more respect for myself than that. Plus, I was really starting to be annoyed by him for many other reasons. So the search continues for the perfect man. I know, I know. There's no such thing, but a girl can dream can't she.

Ho Hum

2004-11-22T10:21:00.000-06:00

Well, I didn't go out much this weekend, but I did get alot accomplished. I went to an art openeing with Irish Friday night and after choking down a few sips of wine and lusting after some guys named Chris, we headed to NHP's house. (Notice that was "guys" not "guy". Yep, two hot Chris's) Anyhoo, I only stayed at NHP's for a second before heading out to The High Note and then Banana Joe's. Now normally I'm not the Banana Joe's type, but I know a few people that work there, so I got in and drank for free. Good times. Saturday I layed on the couch for 4 hours, after I woke up, before cleaning my house for 3 hours. Then Irish picked me up and we went Christmas shopping at Target for Angelbaby. After that we were off to my favorite store...World Market. Man, I would love one of everything in there. I settled for a caramel filled candy bar, which was the best candy bar I've ever had. As for Sunday, I got out my Christmas decorations and put some of them around the house before my Pooh Bear came home. He was so excited to walk in and see the garland and Santa Clauses that he ran from one decoration to the other and told me how pretty it was. So, that was my weekend. A tad less party and a whole lot more domestic. Man, I've got to find a boyfriend before I go insane.

Better You Than Me

2004-11-12T15:33:00.000-06:00

I have decided to follow the ultra depressing story with a very humorous one. So, the other day I was walking through the shopping center that I work, on my way to grab a soda. About half way to my destination I heard a man yelling,"Ma'am! Ma'am!" I turned around to see an elderly woman walking across the parking lot. She looked like the typical Great-Grandmother type. That's right, Great-Grandmother. She was shuffling across the lot holding her little Granny bag and smiling the whole way. She was wearing the normal Granny gear. Long skirt, sweater, orthopedic shoes...you get the point. Anyway, there was a man about 10 feet behind her grinning from ear too ear, trying to get this lady's attention. I didn't want to stare at the situation, but curiosity got the best of me. I stopped and watched as the events unfolded. As the man approached this sweet little old lady, she turned around to face him. There it was. This sweet little lady had tucked her skirt into her panties. Only they were not normal Granny panties...Oh no. They were THONGS!!!!!! Yep, thongs. Ol' girl was sporting some pretty sexy thongs under that skirt. She had left the house with what she thought was a sexy secret and ended up showing the whole parking lot. The man had noticed and was kind enough to tell her. So, if it had been me, I would have slinked away to my car and sped off never to return to that spot again. Not her. She smiled, pulled the dress out of her crack and politely thanked him. Then she continued on her snail like pace. I guess when you live to be 90 you couldn't give a shit if your ass is hanging out or not. You're just glad to be alive. Nevertheless, my eyes will never completely heal, but the doctor says my nervous tick will subside in time.

Scrooged

2004-11-12T15:21:00.000-06:00

Every since last year I have hated the thought of Christmas. The music, the decorations, the whole thing makes me so depressed. I realized how bad it is last night. I went into Walmart for a few items and I thought maybe I would try and buy a few ornaments. My ex-husband and I started a tradition of buying a new ornament each year for our tree. We would go to Walmart and each pick out an ornament. We did this every year for 4 years. We divorced last October and Christmas was so very sad. I figured I could be strong this year, but I was wrong. As I scoped out the ornaments a strange feeling came over me. I broke out in a cold sweat and started shaking all over. I was almost in tears as I walked quickly away from the Christmas department. This really sucks for numerous reasons. As everyone knows, from now until Christmas I am going to have it shoved down my throat. Plus, I have to decorate for my little boy. I may be jaded by my life, but my son shouldn't have to pay for it too. Oh well. I'll suck it up and join the festivities. But, I refuse to wear a cheesy Christmas sweater or snowflake socks.

WTF

2004-11-08T13:13:00.000-06:00

Have you ever met someone and sware that you have never seen this person before, yet they act as if you shit in their face? I had a patient come in today that had attitude from the second she stepped into the door. Her nose was in the air and she scoffed at my every word. I have no clue what I did. She asked me a question and I answered it. It may not have been the answer she wanted, but damn grow the fuck up. Some of us don't always get the answer we are looking for. Just suck it up and move on. I just wanted to jump up and kick that bitch in the face as I yanked her weave right out of head. Just the thought of bitch slapping that look off her face was all the peace I could get. What kills me is when you tell them(for example) "No ma'am. We do not take your insurance." She asks to speak with someone else. Does she think we will automatically take her insurance if she asks someone else? Oh! And here's the kicker. She spouts off about how everywhere she's been today she has had to deal with rude people. Can you believe that shit? Why couldn't she have tripped on the way out and busted her face wide open? Yep...it's time for those anger management classes.

Let The Sun Shine In

2004-11-05T15:10:00.000-06:00

Don't ya hate it when you get that really annoying song stuck in your head and you only know part of it? Let's test your cartoon knowledge. Do you remember the episode of 'The Flinstones' when Fred dreams Pebbles and Bam-Bam can sing and they played that really cheesy song about a hundred times? The name of it was 'Open Up Your Heart and Let the Sun Shine In'. Anyway, for some strange reason that song popped in my head and now it won't go away. For those of you that are not quite sure, here ya go...

Mommy told me something
A little kid should know
It's all about the devil
And I've learned to hate him so
She said he causes trouble
When you let him in the room,
He will never ever leave you
If your heart is filled with gloom

So let the sun shine in
Face it with a grin
Smilers never lose
And frowners never win
So let the sun shine in
Face it with a grin
Open up your heart and let the sun shine in

...do you remember now? Yea, I thought so. There are several more verses, but you get the point. Is it stuck in your head yet? Your welcome.

Trick or Treat

2004-11-01T09:44:00.000-06:00

So Halloween sucked. I went to a friend's party on Saturday night with Irish,which was pretty boring. It was the same tired old party we've been to every Halloween for the past 6 years. Half the party sits around watching scary movies and getting drunk. The other half are on the porch smoking and getting drunk. Every now and then the 2 halves meet on their way to the kitchen to scarf down cheese dip and ghost cookies. This year we had 2 porches to congregate on. Our group has divided in the past year or so, due to break ups and disagreements, so some of us were on the front porch and the losers were on the back porch. Anyhoo, we stayed long enough to make the party throwers happy and then bolted. We were all dolled up and wanted to show off, so what better place than Southside. First stop, Ben's friend's apartment. We were the only ones there in costume and I don't know about Irish, but none of the girls there spoke one word to me. Not that I had time to care with Ben humping my leg in the corner. I guess he liked my costume. So from there we were off to Bailey's. We were there long enough to make the rounds and then out the door. We then went to our home away from home, The Plaza. After being drug behind the bar and molested by one of the bar tenders, I hunkered down with my Ben and my beer and watched some guy dressed as the fairy from 'Fairly Odd Parents' play a bad game of pool. And that my friends was my Halloween night. Boring party, crowded bars, and molested by a 50 year old man. Good times.

Happy Birthday Dear Irish

2004-10-25T14:54:00.000-05:00

So, Saturday was Irish's birthday. Which you are aware of if you read her last post.I guess since she didn't give details of our incredibly busy day,then it's up to me. My Saturday started at 7:00 am with my alarm going off. I had to work from 9 until 1, then I went to meet Irish and her parents for lunch. After we gorged ourselves with enough food to keep us full for the rest of the day, we set out to move her stuff. No details other than we moved crap for 4 hours. Then, having made plans to go to Sloss Fright Furnace at 7, we flew back to her house for 5 minute showers and slapped on just enough makeup to make us look halfway decent. From there we drove to Matt's house to meet him and Angela before heading to Sloss. Unfortunately,as we got there, it began to rain pretty hard. So, here we are standing in the rain waiting to go in. Luckily the line moved really fast and we were in the gate in 5 minutes. That was the only thing moving fast. When we got there, they were calling letter X. We were letter O. They had to go all the way back through the alphabet to get to us. I think we were waiting about an hour and a half. So, they finally call our number and we were on our way. For the most part it was pretty cool. The monsters weren't giving it their all, though. I guess it may have had something to do with the fact that it was pouring down rain all the way through the maze. It took us 30 minutes to get through the whole thing and I was more concerned with the fact that any moment I could slip on wet metal and bust my ass than with the monsters jumping out at me. Plus, the only one that really jumped at me had breath that could have stripped paint off a wall. Anyway, Irish seemed to have a good time and that's all that matters, since it was her birthday. I guess any normal person would have called it an evening from there, since we were dripping wet and our shoes squished whenever we took a step, but not us. Nope! We were off to get drunk. We went to The Plaza where we ran into Monkfisher. I think it had been a year since the last time I saw him. He hasn't changed a bit. Anyhoo, we played several games of pool and Irish got her drunk on. From there we headed to Baileys and I looked for hot guys to stare at from a distance. After about 10 minutes Irish looked as though she was going to pass out and fall off of her stool, so we called it an evening and headed home.So, that was Irish's 28th birthday. We got wet, drunk and some of us a bit gassy. You know who you are! A word to the wise, don't ever hang out with Irish after she eats a Philly cheesesteak.

Farewell Charlie

2004-10-22T13:58:00.000-05:00

Well, the post that never ends finally got bumped to the archives thanks to this post.Goodbye old friend, you will be missed. So, I went to see "Shaun of the Dead" last night. I have to admit that at first I thought this movie was going to be the biggest waste of money. Then I thought, "What do I care I'm not paying for it!". So I went anyway. It was actually a really funny movie. I am a sucker for a good British comedy, and this one was pretty good. In case you have no idea what I'm talking about I'll break it down for ya. "Night of the Living Dead" meets "The Young Ones". Enough said.

Technological Disaster

2004-10-15T13:25:00.000-05:00

I like technology as much as the next person, but some of this crap is getting out of hand. I was driving home last night after work in a huge lump of traffic, when this minivan cuts in front of me. Luckily, I wasn't going very fast because there was a car on the side of the road and everyone had to stop and rubberneck for 10 minutes before driving on. Anyway, this minivan with soccer stickers on the back with "Little Josh's" name and cheerleading stickers with "Little Buffy" or some shit just cuts right in front of me. As if that wasn't bad enough, they had a television in the visor. Now for people with kids this is a great idea. It keeps them occupied long enough to get where they are going, but to other drivers...kinda distracting. Now don't get me wrong, I love a good episode of Andy Griffith, I mean who doesn't enjoy the antics of Barney Fife? Just not going 75 down the interstate. I find myself staring at the TV, getting closer and closer to this woman's bumper, totally oblivious to the fact that I am inches from shoving the front end of my car straight up her tailpipe. I know what you're thinking, I should have just ignored the TV and concentrated on driving. How can I concentrate when Barney is about to put his only bullet in his gun? I mean, that's when you know he means business.

Blah!

2004-10-12T09:41:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling a bit under the weather today, so no new post. Talk amongst yourselves. Here's a topic...chicken fights. Discuss.

Welcome to Drama 101

2004-10-08T14:58:00.000-05:00

All my life I have found some sort of drama to get tangled up in. There was always the "who's cheating on who" or "oh no she didn't!". Lately I have found myself very drama free. I have been single for a few months and I only get to go out every other weekend. My close circle of friends have slowly grown apart and I find myself bored with everyday things. Back in the day when the gang all hung out at the clubs and threw kick ass parties,there was always quite a few issues. Although we were as close as friends could be and would do anything for each other, even the best of friends can have there spats. We had our share of drama. I think that may be one of the factors in the group's demise. Well, that and the fact that at one point we all have dated someone from the group leaving a nasty wave of breakups in our paths. Plus, most of the group is now married with kids or divorced with kids. So, that doesn't leave much time for partying anymore. The only person I still see on a regular bases is Irish. We are both divorced and both have kids. I think that keeps us so close. Our lives are very similar. Anyway, all that is leading up to this. I have been without drama...until now. Here is my dilemma. I love Irish like a sister and I love my brother, well like a brother. They are both very special to me and I would die if anything ever came between us. But they dated a few years ago and it ended very badly. I don't know the whole story of what happened and honestly I don't want to. It happened, it's over and I'm over it. As Irish told me there is always 3 sides to a story. His side, her side, and the truth. I am just throwing this out there because I know they will both read this. Neither one of them have asked me to take sides and I thank them both. I love them both and would do anything for either one of them,just not that. I have been living a drama free life lately and I do not wish to get back into the old routine. Everyone has made bad decisions in there lives, whether it be dating the wrong person or breaking up with the wrong person. We learn from our mistakes and we try to make better decisions in the future. I know neither one of them will wave the white flag, so I want to wave it for them. Let go of the past and move on. It doesn't matter who dumped who or for what reason. The damage has been done and the best thing to do is to stay away from each other.

Trivia Monster

2004-10-01T09:53:00.000-05:00

Tuesday night I went with Irish to one of the local On Tap locations to see Ben. He was there with his friend for their weekly game of Team Trivia. I have never been very good at trivia, to be honest I suck at it. When I was 9 or 10 I was playing trivia with my brother, my grandmother, and my aunt. When it came to my turn I was so excited to read the next question. To test the knowledge of my family members and to revel in the fact that I knew the answer before they did. Of course I was looking at the answer, but at 9 that doesn't matter. So, my question was as follows: "Where is a cow's sweat glands?" Unfortunately, I was a little too excited and apparently not very good at reading because my question turned into "Where are a cow's sweet glands?" Notice that was SWEET not SWEAT. My loving family nearly knocked each other down to jump on that. They were all laughing hysterically at my screw up. Eighteen years later they still bring that up whenever anyone mentions trivia or cows or me being a dumbass.Over100 hours of therapy and thousands of dollars later and I still can't play Trivial Pursuit. Anyhoo, we watched Ben and John test their knowledge of History while we knocked back a couple of tasty adult beverages. Then we went to John's apartment and hung out way later than I had planned. Plus, I told Irish if she would go with me, we wouldn't stay out long. But, at this point I don't think she cared where she was. So that was our night. A game of Trauma...I mean Trivia, a few beers, and not enough sleep. All in all a pretty good night.

Distraction

2004-09-20T09:46:00.000-05:00

Let's see. What could I write about that would draw the attention of certain people away from a certain story. Hmmmmm. Oh I know! Midget porn. Have any of you ever seen a midget porn? I haven't, but I am very curious. I would like to see just how they..um...do it. Wouldn't you think it would be sort of awkward? I mean with the tiny parts and all. Not just the naughty bits, but their arms and legs too. If the guy was on top, he would normally use his arms and legs for support. Can a midget do this? I imagine him laying on top of his partner with his little arms and legs sorta sticking out to the side. Ya know, cause their too short to touch the bed. Maybe I am wrong. That's why I want to see this for myself. So I can put an end to this strange image. But then I would have the real image of midgets having sex in my head. Man! I guess I can't have it all. Hey, maybe they have to do it doggie. That would put an end to all this tiny limbs business. But, we still have the matter of the ...member. Do you think it's as small as the rest of them? Or did God strike a deal with the midget community? He takes their height, but gives them extra large units. I think I will research this and get back to ya. Stay tuned for my midget porn update.

Charlie We're Getting Too High!

2004-09-13T09:54:00.000-05:00

Saturday night I went with my best friend to see "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". I love that movie! I have seen it at least 500 times and I have it on tape, but it was playing at the Alabama Theater, so we shelled out the $6 to go see it again. I love going to see movies at the Alabama Theater, but each time I do I realize that I need to get there late. We went to dinner before the movie and we were afraid we were going to be late. My friend kicked back that margarita like a champ and I nearly choked on my Quesadilla. We just couldn't be late for the movie! It was going to start at 7:00 and we were still in Hoover at 6:30. Anyway, we get out of there and rush to the theater, scramble to find a parking spot and walk through the doors at 3 til 7:00. We got seated and were proud of the fact that we got there on time. That's when it happened! The organ player started up and insisted the audience join him in a sing-a-long. Bloody hell! The songs for the evening were "Supercallafragalistickexpealidoshis" (Yeah, like you could spell that either) "Mickey Mouse Club" and some other cheesy song that has slipped my mind at the moment. I lost it when the audience started screaming in unison-"Mickey Mouse! Donald Duck!" I am not a fan of sing-a-longs. If our kids had been there I wouldn't have minded so much, but we were all alone in this madness. To make matters worse I had inhaled my Quesadilla to get here on time and acquired a massive case of heartburn. So all through the movie I got to retaste the lovely chicken and cheese.YUMMY!!! I went there to see a Christmas movie last year and they pulled that crap then too. The really bad part was I was on a date with this ultra whitebred guy who started singing along with the crowd as loud as he could. I thought he was about to bust out into the "Carlton" right in the middle of "Rudolph". I could feel myself sliding further and further down in my chair. Where is that big hole to swallow you when you need it? The lessons for the day are as follows:
1) Show up late to avoid sing-a-longs
2) If you see your friend popping Pepcids before a meal, follow the leader

We Fear Change

2004-08-30T14:12:00.000-05:00

As far back as I can remember I have dated people in "the group". My friends and I have this tight little circle that we have all dated in. Let me try to sum it up. One of my best friends (A) dated my brother for 8 years. When they broke up she started dating my brother's roommate who happens to be my ex-boyfriend. My other best friend (L) was married to one of my other friends(whom I had a fling with in high school) and after they got divorced she dated my brother. Now she is dating another one of our friends. When I was in high school I started dating one of my friend's brother. His best friend and I became good friends and after we broke up, I kept contact with the friend. Later he introduced me to the guy that I ended up marrying. Before I got married I dated the brother of (L). After I got divorced I dated the brother of (A). Are you confused yet? Let's just I can't have all my friends and family together anymore. They have all dated each other. So, having said all that, I decided to start dating outside this horrible circle. Well, Saturday night I met a really nice guy. He is not in "the circle", but he is kinda connected. He went to high school with all of us. He knows some of the same people we know, but he graduated 2 years before me, so he is not directly associated with any of us. I sort of remember him from high school. I think he was in my lunch class or something. Anyhoo, I ran into him at the Plaza Saturday night and we are suppose to hook up sometime after I get back from Florida. As you all know I don't hold relationship info to myself. (Especially if it goes sour) I'll keep ya posted.

We Love to Fly and It Shows

2004-08-30T12:34:00.000-05:00

Friday I am flying to Orlando with my son to stay with my dad and his wife. We have a nice vacation planned. My son has never been to Disney World, so we planned to take him there. The rest of the week I'm sure will be spent relaxing in the pool. It all sounds like a great vacation. Free place to stay, free food, free entertainment. So, why am I worried out of my mind? Well as strange as it may sound, I am 27 years old and have never flown. I know, I know, most everyone these days have flown at least once. Yeah well, not me. I have just never had a reason or a want to fly. If I ever had a small feeling that I did, it was snuffed out years ago when I lost my step-brother and his wife to a plane crash. I have heard all the statistics and apparently you have a bigger chance of dying in a car crash than in a plane crash. I'm sorry, if you wreck your car, you have a chance of coming out without a scratch. If you crash a plane, your toast. So, don't give me that crap. Plus, to make matters worse, they are expecting a massive hurricane about the time my plane should arrive. Anyhoo, I'll post when I get there to let you all know how my first plane trip was. We'll see who freaked out more, me or my 3 year old. I'm going to bet it will be me.

What Not to Buy in Bulk

2004-08-27T17:07:00.000-05:00

So apparently Cosco, which is another version of Sam's, opened up here in B'ham a few months back. They carry bulk items for those of you that can't have too many cases of Spam. Other items that you might find there are gallon jars of mayo, huge teeth rotting bags of candy, and apparently coffins. Yep, coffins. So, here's my query. Can you get those in bulk? I was planning a mass suicide later tonight and I need to get a lot of coffins at a good bargain. What the hell is this world coming to? "Um honey could you grab a 50 pack of Wrigley's, 5 gallons of pickle chips, and oh yeah, the family pack of coffins?" I'm sorry, when it's my time to go, I don't want to be shoved into something that was sold next to a 500 pack of Depends Undergarments. I mean, call me crazy, but I do have my pride.

ATHF

2004-08-27T11:47:00.000-05:00

Every now and then a cartoon comes out that I just can't live without. Through the years there have been alot of winners. The Simpsons, Beavis and Butthead, Family Guy, Futurama, pretty much all of Liquid Television...you get the point. Well I was introduced to a new one a few months ago...Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Let me just say, Bravo. From the first episode I saw I have been hooked. For those of you not fortunate enough to have seen this show, I can only say, find it and watch it. There are 3 main characters..Frylock, Master Shake and Meatwad. Frylock is an order of fries, Shake is a milkshake and Meatwad..well he's a meatwad. Anyhoo, check it out. I'm not even going to try to put into words what the show is all about. This is one you just have to experience for yourself. My brother bought me the dvd set for my birthday and I think it was the best gift I got this year. Go to http://www.tvtome.com/AquaTeenHungerForce/ for a sample of the madness. Hope you enjoy as much as I do.

MY NAME IS...

Shake-Zula, the mic rulah, the old schoolah.
You wanna trip, I'll bring it to ya!
Frylock and I'm on top, rock you like a cop.
Meatwad make the money see. Meatwad get the honeys G.
Drivin in my car, livin' like a star. Ice on my fingers and my toes and I'm a Taurus
Ha, check-check it, yeah
Cuz we are tha Aque Teenz, make the homeys say ho 'n the girlies wanna scream!
Cuz we are tha Aqua Teenz, make the homeys say ho 'n the girlies wanna scream!
Aqua Teen Hunger Force- Numba one in tha hood, G

Baja Blah

2004-08-13T12:46:00.000-05:00

So I went to Taco Bell today for lunch. As if that wasn't punishment enough for my body, I decided to try this new Baja Blast drink. It's made by Mountain Dew and only at Taco Bell. Now I have enjoyed some of the other flavors that Mountain Dew has created. For instance the Live Wire is highly addictive and by far one of the tastiest drinks out there, in my opinion. But, this Baja crap is kinda like sucking down floor cleaner. Not that I have tasted floor cleaner, but I can only imagine. Thanks to the house cleaners and disinfectants of the world anything flavored with lime just makes me feel sick. I guess I should have thought of that before I purchased the extra large, extra nasty Baja Blast. If anyone has tried this horrible drink, let me know what you think. But, for the love of God don't try it just to let me know your opinion. In all honesty, I guess there are worse thing out there for you to drink.......like Pinesol.

Look Kids, Big Ben ...Parliment.

2004-08-03T13:02:00.000-05:00

Every now and then I get tested by the powers that be. Just a bit of a kick in the ol' patience, to see how far I can be pushed. This weekend just happened to be one of those tests. I had promised a friend of mine that I would pick her and her little boy up from the airport Friday night. I convinced my best friend that she should go with me, and man am I glad she did. I think if she hadn't been there I might have pulled over and cried. The plane was scheduled to arrive at 9:55 pm from Minneapolis. That is all the information I had. We left my friend's house around 9:00 and set out on a 3 hour adventure. First, we went the extremely long way to get to there, which I didn't realize it was the long way until I had driven for 15 minutes before I came to a road that would have gotten us there in 5. Then, the hell continued. We got to the airport and thought we were following the right signs. I entered one parking deck only to figure out it was for rent-a-cars. When I tried to leave the parking deck I realized the road I was on was a one way. We had to drive all the way back around the airport.(Lap 1) Then we went in through the baggage claim and pick up line. Unfortunately you can't stop there unless the party you are picking up is ready. Back around the airport.(Lap 2) Then I thought I could find a parking spot on the side of the road, unfortunately they were reserved for limos and buses. My friend pointed out one that looked like I could park in, but I missed it. Back around the airport.(Lap 3) Yep, it only looked like I could park there. Limos and buses only. Back around the airport. (Lap 4) As we started our next lap my friend noticed the sign for short term parking...as we passed it. Back around the airport.(Lap 5) Finally, we got into the parking lot and found what we thought was the concourse she would be arriving from. It was now 9:55. so, we sat and waited. The plane arrived and everyone started coming off the plane. We waited and watched all the weary travelers being greeted by there loved ones. We waited and watched as the flight crew came off and then there was no one else. It was now 10:15. No Alana. We decided that maybe we were at the wrong concourse after all and walked towards another one. Half way to it I decided that was the only flight from Minneapolis and we were headed back. So, we stood and waited, we sat and waited, we paced and waited. Finally at about 10:40 she emerged from the plane. Time to go! Nope. We still had to go to baggage claim. Apparently her mom had sent half her house home in this girl's suitcase. We had to get some strange guys in the parking deck to carry this thing to the car. It even had a caution tag on it! Then, I guess I didn't consider someone who had been gone for 2 weeks would have luggage, 'cause my trunk was full. We had to cram 2 suitcases in the trunk and 2 suitcases and a box in the backseat. Not to mention my friend and her kid, plus me and my other friend. My plan from there was to take my friend that was kind enough to go there with me home and then take my friend that I picked up, to my house. She had left her car at my house while she was gone, so once we were back there she could drive home. That was the plan. Only, we went the wrong way on the interstate. I ended up driving all the way to my house, dropped Alana and her son off at their car and turned around and drove all the way back past the airport to take my other friend home. Fortunately she was kind enough to let me sleep at her house. By this time it was around 12-ish. From this experience I have decided my "favor " days are over. I have truly been to hell and back.

Pity Party Table for One

2004-07-30T14:06:00.000-05:00

I have always heard that the older you get the worse birthdays are. Until this year I had never experienced that. My birthday is only 2 weeks away, and usually one of my friends asks me what I want to do or what I want. This year I had already decided that I didn't want anything materialistic. I just wanted all my friends to go out somewhere with me for one night. Whenever one of my friends birthdays came up this year I planned or helped plan the party. Even if I wasn't asked to help I at least showed up. Well, I finally got tired of waiting for someone to ask me what I wanted to do, so I called one of my friends. I simply asked her if she would want to go out the weekend before my birthday. After 12 years of being friends and having her plan my birthday every year, she apparently forgot. She made plans for that whole weekend. "No problem" I said. Then today I called another one of my friends to see if she wanted to do something. She too forgot and made plans for that same weekend. So far out of all my "friends" I have 2 that said they would like to do something. I guess times like these let you know who your real friends are. Happy birthday to me.